What Would I Do Without My Doula?

When I was about halfway through my pregnancy, we decided to interview some doulas and see if it would be right for us. We met with three doulas. The first one was Jan, who we ultimately picked. We liked her right away and I wanted to hire her on the spot, but my husband insisted that we meet the other doulas too because we might find someone we like even more. (How could that be possible?, I wondered.) Well, it turned out that the other two doulas were wonderful too, but our instincts told us to go with Jan. So we hired her. We had to give her a deposit of $100 to confirm our commitment, and sign an agreement as well.

How do I describe this fabulous woman? She is very tall and has a great presence. She is quiet, knowledgeable and thoughtful; she doesn't speak a lot, but when she does it is carefully thought out. In other words, she is not "chatty" but not shy either. She has an engaging smile, she is discrete, and she is strong. I felt like she could sweep me up in her arms and take care of me!

Jan came over several weeks before my due date to do some one-on-one prenatal training with both James and I. She is a lactation consultant as well so she helped by answering my questions about breastfeeding in addition to my questions about what to expect during labor. I went into labor three days before my due date, on August 13, 2001. It was about midnight and I was just getting into bed when I felt (or heard?) a loud POP! And then another one. And warm liquid dribbling down my legs. My water had broken. Yay! This was finally happening.

The contractions started immediately and James rubbed my thigh while I rested on the bed. The contractions got closer and closer together and James called Jan at about 5:00am when they were about 5 minutes apart. They got really intense after that and by the time Jan arrived, I was vomiting in a bucket on my bed. Jan threw down the birth ball she was carrying, flew across the bed, grabbed my hand, looked me straight in the eye with her face close to mine and said, "I want you to breathe like this."

In an instant, she had me calmed down and breathing effectively. She was amazing. I went from being in a total panic to feeling like everything was going to be ok. When my midwife arrived at 7:00am, she told me I was about 3 centimetres dilated. I was so disappointed! But Jan was my cheerleader, telling me that I was working so hard, and managing so well, and that my body was only going to give me what I could handle. She helped James help me by suggesting things he could do for me, and he felt taken care of by Jan as well.

It was only about an hour later that Jan noticed my breathing had changed and she called out to our midwife who was in another room doing paperwork. Our midwife didn't think that I could have progressed that quickly but Jan stood her ground and said, "It really sounds like she is trying to push." So the midwife checked me again (doulas do not perform medical tasks) and I was about 7 cm dilated! This was going fast. Suddenly everybody sprung into action and started gathering up all the bags and things we needed for the hospital. If it wasn't for Jan, I really don't think we would have made it on time.

While James drove, Jan sat with me in the backseat holding my hand, talking to me, encouraging me and calming me. She was so amazing! After we got to the hospital, she never left my side. James had to go fill out the paperwork and park the car, but Jan was there beside me constantly. I felt such complete trust in Jan that I had to hold her right hand a particular way through each contraction. It was quite funny! A contraction would start and I'd yell, "Hand! Hand!" and Jan would come running and grab my hand. I don't know why, but it was only Jan's hand that comforted me. It had to be Jan's hand.

She also helped by taking me to the bathroom and getting me water to drink, a cold cloth for my forehead (without being asked), and waving tissues with aromatherapy oil on them around the room. I found that I couldn't communicate what I wanted or needed, but Jan always seemed to know, thank goodness. She suggested different laboring positions and she helped during the delivery by suggesting positions for pushing, too. I only pushed one hour and then our beautiful Hana was born. (Hana means "flower" in Japanese).

Jan stayed with me while I delivered the placenta (James was on the other side of the room with Hana) and helped me attempt to breastfeed right away. She stayed for about 4 hours after Hana was born and helped me take a shower and gave me lots of help with breastfeeding.

What more can I say about having a doula? She made my birth experience fantastic. I am one of those people who can honestly say that I enjoyed labor (twice!) and I want to do it again! When we found out we were pregnant for the second time, I could not imagine doing it without Jan. It was a much easier labor and birth, but I am still so grateful that Jan was there - she made it a great experience again. It is true that continuous support during labor has many, many benefits, and I am one of the "lucky" (or is it "well prepared" because I hired a doula?) women who was able to fully experience birth without drugs, or intervention. I had a healthy birth and a healthy baby. And a doula to help us through it all.

For more information, or to find a doula in your city, visit www.dona.org, the Doulas of North America website. I wish you all the best during your labor and birth!